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Music and Lyrics by CAROL HALL 

Plot Synopsis

What do you raise on a "Chicken ranch"?

It sat just outside the city limits of Gilbert, Texas (pop. 4600). It was called the "Chicken Ranch," but it sure as heck wasn't in competition with Frank Perdue. If you grew up most anywhere in Texas, you knew why Miss Mona Stangley's "Chicken Ranch" was on e of the most thriving enterprises in Lanvil County.

It had tradition, respectability, and a strict set of rules, and it lived in peace with the town for a good many years. It did, that is, until a certain Thanksgiving week, not so very long ago.

The week started off quietly enough with Shy and Angel, two lost and lonely young ladies, making their way to the Ranch and convincing the soft hearted Miss Mona to let them stay on as hired hands.

Surprises were in store when the undistinguished gentlemen from the State of Texas, Senator J.T. Wingwoah, arranged to treat the winning football seniors, in the traditional Thanksgiving Day rivalry between the Texas Aggies and the Texas Longhorns, to an evening of dancing and a little backfield-in-motion entertainment at the Ranch. Things really got cooking when Melvin P. Thorpe, a Houston television newscaster, took to the airwaves on his weekly Watchdog program and let the Chicken out of the bag. He publicly condemned the Ranch for raising something other than pullets, and demanded that Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd close the Chicken Ranch operation.

Now that got Sheriff Dodd madder than a hen on a hot griddle, he being a bosom friend of Miss Mona Stangley. But being sworn to uphold the law, Sheriff Dodd did what any law abiding peace officer would do. He strutted right out in front of Melvin Thorpe's television cameras and threatened to "whup Melvin's butt 'til it looked like peppermint candy." 

That's wehn the Governor announced he was ready to call in the Texas Rangers. And that's when Melvin P. Thorpe called in his Watchdog news crew to pay a surprise visit to the Chicken Ranch... a visit that sure came as a big surprise to Senator Wingwoah and the Yeeeehawin' Texas Aggie football team. But that was only the beginning of the end, Podner. To learn the rest, and to enjoy clap-hands singin', hoe-down dancin' and gut-bustin' laughin', you'll just have to see The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

Cast of Characters

Mona Stangley  
Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd  
Melvin P. Thorpe  
Doatsey Mae  
Mayor Rufus Poindexter  
C$dotJ. Scruggs  
Senator Wingwoah  

Songs from the Show - Act One

Prologue Narrator
20 Fans Mona, the Girls, Cowbows, Miss Wulla Jean, Traveling Salesman, Slick Dude, Choir
A Li'l Bitty Pissant Country Place Mona and the Girls
Girl You're a Woman Mona, Shy Jewel and the Girls
Watch Dog Theme Melvin P. Thorpe and the Dogettes
Texas has a Whorehouse In It Melvin P. Thorpe, the Thorpe Singers and the Dogettes
Twenty-Four Hours of Lovin' Jewel and the Girls
Reprise: Watchdog Theme Dogettes
Reprise: Texas has a Whorehouse In It Melvin P. Thorpe and the Dogettes
Doatsey Mae Doatsey Mae
Angelette March Angelettes
The Aggie Song The Aggies

Songs from the Show - Act Two

The Sidestep The Governor, Senator, Melvin P. Thorpe, Dogettes, Melvin P. Thorpe Singers
No Lies Mona, Jewel and the Girls
Good Old Girl The Sheriff and Cowboys
Hard Candy Christmas The Girls
Reprise: Hard Candy Christmas The Girls
The Bus From Amarillo Mona

1994-1995 Production

Presented March 3-11, 1995 at the Adult High School, Ottawa, Ontario 

Production Team

Artistic Director Ginny Day
Musical Director Marlene Hudson
Choreographer Aileen Szkwarek
Assistant Choreographer Debbie Millett
Production Coordinator Walt Conrad
Production Assistant Patti Mordasewicz
Stage Manager Chris Johnson
Assistant Stage Manager Lena Harrington
Set Designer Nancy Solman
Costume Designer Ann Ricard
Properties Chris Cullen
Sound Designer Bill Butterworth
Lighting Designer John Solman
Make-up Designer Melva Scott, Barbara Seeton
Hair Designer Kraig Proulx
Master Carpenter Donald Lambton
Associate Master Carpenter Terry Dacey
Workshop Chairman John Solman
Accompanist John McGovern, Lorna Rice


Mona Stangley Suzanne Castanza
Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd Lawrence Evenchick
Melvin P. Thorpe Erik Bunkis
Jewel Guylaine Roy
Governor Moe Romanow
Narrator/Edsel Mackey Gary King
Doatsey Mae Heather Monkman
Angel Debbie Millett
Shy Stacey Kilrea
Mayor Rufus Poindexter Art King
C.J. Scruggs Peter Messier
Senator Wingwoah Gary Smith


Lisa Chisholm, Karen Colvin, Stephanie Coward, Cathy Current, Beth Doering, Christine Moran, Brenda Schoenermarck, Anabela Vieira


John Burgess, Patrick Donahue, Gordon Guest, Alex Latoche, Robert McColman, Rory McGlynn, Robin Monaghan, Mark Munday, Karen Murphy, Eugene Oscapella, Ken Panton, Jim Robertson, Tim St-Louis 

The BLWT Country Band

Under the direction of Marlene Hudson

Violin Sol Gunner
Rhythm Guitar Craig Kennedy
Steel Guitar Allen Bragg
Bass Guitar Ken Seeley
Piano John McGovern
Drums Doug Johnston


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